its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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