I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
