He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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