We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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