The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
