so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
