gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
