My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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