I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I AM VODKA MAN
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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