yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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