so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
