It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
