I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
