handjob tips. give me some.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
