is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
