Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Randomize
