I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
