it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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