if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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