She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
