the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
