nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
