Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

True Life: I hate vaginal excretions

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(210): View more from Texas

Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.

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(916): View more from California

Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.

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(214): View more from Texas

I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.

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