his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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