Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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