There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
How does it feel to date your dad?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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