I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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