that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
