he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
