Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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