I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
only you would photoshop your dick
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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