I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
