I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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