I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
