Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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