Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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