so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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