Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
