whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
