apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
