We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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