I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
