Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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