you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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