Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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