If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just cut my nipple shaving
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Do vagina's smell?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
