So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
