We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
