I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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