she was so not down for the gang bang
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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