I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
