wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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