Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
