Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
