if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
