Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
