Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
