and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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