What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i came on her dog
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
