You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
