I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
