well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
