DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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