Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
