They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
