barbara walters just said penis...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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