yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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