They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
