I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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