That's intense
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
