Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
