She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
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