I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
