no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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